Patience

I like to randomly select and open my books and read until I know I found the message for me right now. Today's book was The Vein of Gold, A Journey to Your Creative Heart by Julia Cameron who is the author of the Artist's Way and many other items in my possession. The chapter was "The Paydirt in Pay-tience" in the Kingdom of Attitude section. I have read this chapter so many times, if it were possible, the ink would be off the page and written in my brain!

It's about our results oriented society, of wanting to have the big sale or show to prove that we are artists. The goal of perfection in art versus the process where we work at a level, then it becomes hard, then if we continue our work is on a different level. We must learn to have patience with our imperfections. The author writes of artists whose work is only sporadically accepted by the public and admits that some of her best work was not sold while some of her worst was.

So I remember my last show where I sold little and what I did sell was 4 years old, from when I first started beading, was not the type of work (strung not beadwoven) I'd like to say I do, and realize I'm experiencing something similar to those the author was writing about. I continued my process with a beadwoven peyote cuff bracelet I entered into the Etsy Beadweavers October challenge, listed and promoted it on Facebook. I was asked where I purchased the clasp, went to that website and found "THE way I should have attached it to the bracelet" instead of the inferior, less than perfect way, I did attach it. (The website is of a well known beadweaver/author.) So the perfectionist reared it's ugly head once again.

This was the perfect way to remind me to be patient with myself. My customer did get pretty items at a good price, and the newest item is acceptable--it was an assortment of tiny beads, a needle and thread before I spent 17 hours making it be what it is, which is a small miracle. So if I didn't write this, no one would know my process. I learned, and now have ANOTHER way to attach the clasp next time I make a beadwoven peyote cuff bracelet, if I decide to try it.

What Matters Is The Newness

I intend this post to be a book review of Marry Your Muse by Jan Phillips published by Quest Books. I am encouraging you to purchase the book ($13.50 or less at amazon) if this post strikes a chord with you. I have had this book on my shelf for years (actually mostly in the stack of books I look at frequently), picking it up to read at random a section, chapter, or page; I've probably read the entire book many times. I like the quotes in the margins and the photographs. I have a framed copy of the Artist's Creed above my work table. Today, I am drawn to

"I believe that what truly matters in the making of art is
not what the final piece looks like or sounds like,
not what it is worth or not worth, but what newness gets added
to the universe in the process of the piece itself becoming."

I share the concerns of my Etsy Beadweaver Team members who have verbalized concern about lack of sales and being "blocked". Jan Phillips writes in a letter to the Muse,

"I am often troubled
at the beginning
about what the ending will be.
I am troubled
about what will become of a piece,
who will want it, if it will
ever be seen or heard.
I do not want to keep creating
that which sees no light of day,
that which finds no ear to hear,
nor heart to hold.
Of what use are these works
if others do not share them?
What is their worth if they go nowhere?
Is it that I am not good enough?.......
Where shall I go with the gifts of my soul?"

Jan Phillips continues, writing a response to us, the "Dear Child"

"When you set out in your work,
set out to find something new
and concern yourself
only with this discovery.
As you create, give thought
to that which is before you
and only that.
You cannot know the reach of your work,
nor its weight or worth,
so there shall be no arrogance about it,
nor any doubt.
What matters is not what you make
but that you take the tools in your hand,
listen to the voice that calls,
and give shape to whatever is awaiting form.

Look inside and see what moves you,
what makes you cry
for sadness or joy,
and respond to that,
letting your response flow
without judgment or worry.

In the giving of yourself to this work,
give bravely and with honest passion
and what will come will be a gift,
not only for yourself
but for those in your midst
who have hungered for this work."